We're an optimistic bunch. That's a good thing, as most of us were able to salvage the weekend. However, we've gone way too far the other way. It's almost become a competition to see who can be the most "glass half full" about the event, to the point where I'm expecting a think piece explaining how this was actually the best Phish festival ever because it was so relaxing, and we actually had plenty of time to talk and hang out!
And while that's fine for those who believe it, I'm feeling like it's putting pressure on others to buy into that. Don't do it.
It's OK to be disappointed. Especially if this was your big summer blowout and it was yanked away, or if you kind of extended yourself to go, but you figured you only get the memories once, and somehow money will figure itself out; you can say that you're mad at how this turned out. Sure it's not the fault of the band or management, but if you're upset over this, and don't feel like it was a magical weekend that taught you all sorts of life lessons about letting go, that is fine.
For me, there are things I definitely regret:
I was looking forward to having people read articles---that I had put hours of work into---for the on-site Curveball daily newspaper Ahead of the Curve (to be published by Relix).
I was excited for the 5K and--in the game show tent on Saturday--Subtle Sounds (fans would compete to identify Phish songs based on only a few notes). I had some plans this year as a judge that I was hoping to use.
That 4th set looked like it had a lot of potential and losing that definitely hurts.
After hearing about the cloud on Mike's hotline, I thought that could have been amazing. Perhaps after the 5k, I would have used it. "Hey, I'm just going to rinse off under the cloud for a second and then meet you there," sounds like it could have been one of those definitive festival statements, something that we'd remind each other about years later and smile.
A definite playfulness had entered into the band's playing in the week before, and I was looking forward to seeing how it played out in the festival environment. Between the layover and the stress from this, I'm scared it will be gone by Dick's.
Like many, I also did my best to make the best of things. I hung out with friends. I saw a new venue. I ate at a favorite restaurant. I went to the Hot August Festival in Baltimore, and ran around in 90 degree heat to the Whiskey Shivers. I saw people there in (custom) Curveball jerseys, with names and numbers on the back. I was impressed by the Baltimore Talking Heads cover band Psycho Killers---especially when they launched into a "DwD" jam for us refugees---and I got to see Trampled by Turtles play "Alone" and KDTU do an amazing "Whipping Post."
On Sunday, I went back to Philadelphia to go to the Curveball Consolation Prize, an event thrown by Phish cover band Control for Smilers. I had a joke planned for the event. I was going to go in full Phish outfit and time it and tweet about it like it was Phish. That'll show the gods out there that I was just rolling with this just fine!
Three songs in, while I was definitely enjoying them, the joke got old. I was having fun enough, but the reality of just how much money I had spent to go out and see a fun cover band was sinking in.
So, if I have the one message for everyone, it's - yeah - we did a good job rolling with the punch, but acknowledge that it was a punch. Stop feeling the need to trivialize it or write it off. We were going to experience something amazing and then we didn't. Feeling sad over that is normal. The good news at least is that, unlike Coventry, we do still have Dick's and fall scheduled!
And at least we did get a new life-long memory out of it, even if some of us will wish we could forget it. Let's just hope that by the end of the year we have the better kind of life-long memory.
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We all know in the grand scheme of things, this is not that big of a deal. But I said "this is going to be the greatest weekend of my life" many times, and I left Watkins broken hearted and defeated. So yea, it hurts.
And many of us couldn't make the best of it. I went solo. I was meeting different groups of people there. Some got in and camped while I was denied at the gate, some hadn't left yet, and some went hours in the opposite direction and I just didn't have more driving in me and couldn't fathom spending more money when no phish was happening. So my "making the best of it" was driving home sad, and staying a night in a hotel alone. For those like me, the last post about a huge group renting a house and having a blast really hurt. I sure would have had a great weekend if I had gone with a crew like that, but I went solo and left with nothing but sadness.
So I feel for you people who went solo to meet people and couldn't, or who just went solo and left solo. We didn't have the memory making that groups had, which makes it even harder. But we'll get through it, and I'm lucky to have the vacation and funds to be able to go to Dicks in 2 weeks and see many of the people I couldn't see this weekend.
I appreciate the comment about a life-long memory too. I now have a new record for most time spent driving in 24 hours, and the miserable chain of events of tons of small things going wrong after the announcement has made for a pretty funny story. I will always remember this weekend.
As you said though, let's hope this is just a huge hole in the road on my phish journey. And I will certainly appreciate every second of the next festival way more than I would have if this disaster hadn't happened. Cheers.
Chris
And then, BOOM, I was home. For me, that is a three hour drive east of Portland, Maine. That means that 90% of the live music I catch is planned well in advance, and I'm not surrounded by Phish fans. Far from it. For Curveball, the advanced planning included friends coming together from MD, DC, PA, NY, ME, MA and MN. We all have busy lives, and the pieces of the puzzle, here, fell into place, miraculously.
The loss, here, is that to bring this group together again will prove challenging. Some or many of the puzzle pieces may be missing on a reschedule. Stars don't just "line up" all that often. For me, it may have been the last Phish show I was able to swing until summer 19. That's a long time to wait for lightning to strike again.
While I can keep things in perspective, it still hurts.
Maybe I'll see some of you again!
Maybe not.
When my father died, I couldn't dance at a show for months. When my husband got sick, it took the last light out of my heart. This weekend was so much more than a festival to me. I was ready to be a Phoenix rising from the ashes and be reborn. I have alot of regrets in life and this was going to be the weekend to let go. I'm allowed to mourn and let go in my own time.
My name is Eamon. I’m not sure if you get thanked enough, but thank you for your incredible statistics. I had all of my shows entered on your old website several years ago before they were integrated by .net. It’s truly a marvel and I sincerely appreciate your work.
Also, thanks for your honesty in your post. I had booked my hotel room last August when the rumors of the festival first started up. I was in the minivan with my wife and four boys when I got the unfortunate call from a good friend that was working the gate. We were only an hour away at that point and we were all completely shocked and bummed out. This was our family vacation this summer. My two older sons had both been to Super Ball IX and three of my kids were at Magnaball, not to mention lots of other shows. We came up with a fifty item photo scavenger hunt for the weekend, had about 300 glow items, found a dog sitter from back home, and were rolling in a packed van full of supplies. We made the best of it, but it was a completely underwhelming consolation prize. When the next festival comes around, we’ll be there, but until then, we are still living in the void.
Do you know what songs were on that said 4th set?